Danielle Schleese: 00:00

Hey, everyone. It's Danielle and Brie, and we're gonna dive right into this week's episode all about femininity, the constructs, the stereotypes, and the all encompassing definition and meaning to that famous f word. So if you are somebody who would like to lean into their own femininity and further explore how it's connected to their self worth or authenticity, then you're gonna wanna stick around for this episode or share it with somebody that you know that will resonate with that. So let's get into it.

Briana Donaldson: 00:36

Okay. So let's start it off with a question.

Danielle Schleese: 00:41

Right. I like questions.

Briana Donaldson: 00:42

Because femininity is such an interesting topic, I feel like, for really anyone. I think that in today's day and age, it's such a it's a term that's thrown around in so many genres. Yes. And to really hone it in for yourself as an individual can probably be, like, a little challenging. You question you question things.

Briana Donaldson: 01:09

It's a little confusing, a little unclear. So I'm gonna put you on the spot.

Danielle Schleese: 01:14

Okay. Love it. Love that.

Briana Donaldson: 01:16

What would you or how would you say it's it's gonna be a two part question. Okay. Part one, how would you for yourself only. Mhmm. Not for everyone, but only for yourself.

Danielle Schleese: 01:28

Okay.

Briana Donaldson: 01:28

How would you define femininity? Number one. And then number two, where do you feel in life, whether it be current in the past or just generally speaking, do you feel like you've struggled with, like, tapping into, honing onto, or, like, maintaining the true essence of what you believe that is for you?

Danielle Schleese: 01:56

That feels like five questions to me.

Briana Donaldson: 01:58

Well, answer

Danielle Schleese: 01:59

Let's start with the first part.

Briana Donaldson: 02:00

Answer them. Yeah. No. I'm kidding.

Danielle Schleese: 02:02

And what was the beginning part of that question? What does femininity mean to me?

Briana Donaldson: 02:06

Yeah. Like, how would you define it? Like, how like because I've thought of I've been leading up to this episode, I've been thinking about this question so much. Like, how

Danielle Schleese: 02:14

do femininity is such a broad term. It is such a broad term.

Briana Donaldson: 02:18

And so how would I define it is actually extremely challenging. So I'm like It's

Danielle Schleese: 02:23

so true.

Briana Donaldson: 02:23

Now that I've been challenged all day, it's your turn.

Danielle Schleese: 02:25

Yeah. You know what? It's interesting is because when I think of femininity, I think of like normally, I think of in visual terms because that's also just the type of learner that I am. It's a very visual person. So naturally, I wanna visually define what that means to me.

Danielle Schleese: 02:40

And I feel like it's so easy to connect femininity to that visual perspective of what we see like beauty, of course, that definition. So to me, I would normally just say, oh, femininity means long hair, flowing skirts. And then there's those attributes that go along with those, like, kindness and softness and female almost. You know what I mean? That's for sure.

Danielle Schleese: 03:10

I think that femininity is so interconnected even culturally, and maybe that's where my definition had come from. Because also, if you're gonna ask me these questions, like, even five years ago, my definition of femininity and representation of that would be so different than how I feel now. Yeah. Whereas now I almost see femininity as an essence. But if you ask me a little bit before, it would be definitely be a visual representation Right.

Danielle Schleese: 03:33

Of, like, a woman or female.

Briana Donaldson: 03:36

And how you physically or visually represent yourself.

Danielle Schleese: 03:39

Yeah. Like, I would say skirt over pants, heels over or high heels over kitten heels, like Oh.

Briana Donaldson: 03:45

Or flats. You know?

Danielle Schleese: 03:47

So I would I would probably say my definition of it definitely now is the essence. But by the way, just just a quick Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 03:56

Interjection there. Because you said back in the day, it would be high heels over kitten heels. Oh, it'd always be high heels. But in case anybody's wondering, she's currently wearing gardening Crocs. They're stylish Crocs.

Briana Donaldson: 04:11

So Like, right now. Maybe at this very moment she's dirty

Danielle Schleese: 04:17

And what

Briana Donaldson: 04:17

are you wearing? Your shoes.

Danielle Schleese: 04:19

You are. They're really cute. Anyone wants

Briana Donaldson: 04:22

to see

Danielle Schleese: 04:23

Wicker shoes. Those are inspired by my ulna, though. And it's she's a powerful female presence in my life.

Briana Donaldson: 04:29

I'm just saying. It was funny that you made the comment about the heels,

Danielle Schleese: 04:32

and I'm like, here she is.

Briana Donaldson: 04:33

Miss wearing her dirty gardening Crocs. They're clean. Yeah. They're beige. They're not

Danielle Schleese: 04:40

supposed to be white. It's okay. Continue. Brianna. I love you.

Briana Donaldson: 04:44

I thought

Danielle Schleese: 04:44

you'd be impressed with how clean they are.

Briana Donaldson: 04:45

Of course, I am. I'm impressed

Danielle Schleese: 04:47

with everything I've part of this question? I already forgot. The second part of the

Briana Donaldson: 04:50

question is, like, how where do you struggle with, like, really honing in on that in your

Danielle Schleese: 04:57

in your life? I would I would now say energetically, I struggle with femininity because I've been raised in more of like a masculine environment. Like, my parents are both German. And I think

Briana Donaldson: 05:10

From from Germany. From Germany.

Danielle Schleese: 05:11

Yeah. And I think that productivity and, like, efficiency is a very valued characteristic, like, to always do. And even now, like, my parents are very busy people. Like, they I don't know how they do it. They cram a million things before noon, and I'm just like, where do you rest?

Danielle Schleese: 05:30

But it's funny because I feel like I almost have to train myself now to learn how to embody the more feminine qualities, which that being, like, rest and being a little bit slower and go with the flow. Like, I'm a very a type person, so I need to know exactly what I'm doing. It comes down to everything like cooking, cleaning, my schedule, my kids. Like, I need to know almost everything. So even, like, borderline, maybe fully OCD.

Danielle Schleese: 05:58

Right. And I think I struggle in leaning into that, but it's something that I'm definitely wanting to go into more and curious about. And it's now that I'm learning about the energetics of life because we're all energy.

Briana Donaldson: 06:12

Do you feel like having a daughter has assisted in leaning into that more?

Danielle Schleese: 06:18

Yes and no. No because my daughter's only seven months old. Yeah. So I'm, like, fully in, like, the toddler newborn mom phase, and I'm just like

Briana Donaldson: 06:26

But even but even how just in my external Yeah. Viewpoint of your situation

Danielle Schleese: 06:33

Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 06:34

There's an extreme there's there's definitely a difference between how you were and maybe I think part of that's probably firstborn to second born, but your firstborn is a boy.

Danielle Schleese: 06:44

Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 06:45

And you have a son as your older child, and now you have this daughter as your second child. And I do see so much more of a softness Yes. With you.

Danielle Schleese: 06:54

Yeah. I do feel though too there's so many layers to that. Yeah. For sure. Because I've the way I felt with the first child, which we'll get into, I'm sure, in, like, other episodes when we talk about, like, motherhood and stuff like that.

Danielle Schleese: 07:09

Mhmm. There was a conscious decision to also, like, apply more of that softness this time around because I knew that the other way just wasn't working for me. Right. So, yeah, those that's like a really great question.

Briana Donaldson: 07:27

Think Yeah. Sorry to cut you off.

Danielle Schleese: 07:28

It just kinda popped into my head. No. It's like true.

Briana Donaldson: 07:31

Especially because now I'm, you know, I've been spending two weeks consistently living in the same house with you and your two children. And I'm like, oh, wow. Because having the experience of you going through motherhood with your firstborn. Motherhood with me, with my I have two girls. Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 07:50

And it was it was complete like, that's why they say no children have the same parents.

Danielle Schleese: 07:57

What do mean? No

Briana Donaldson: 07:58

child has the same set of parents.

Danielle Schleese: 08:01

Oh, like even siblings, you mean? Right. Yeah. Who

Briana Donaldson: 08:03

you The version are of

Danielle Schleese: 08:04

the parents.

Briana Donaldson: 08:04

Yeah. Right. Because who you are when you parent your first is a completely different version of yours when you parent your second, third, fourth, fifth, whatever. Mhmm. But not to not to get off track too much, but I just the question came into my mind because you said that softness is something that you kinda have to think about more or, like, try to bring into your life more.

Briana Donaldson: 08:25

Mhmm. But I'm seeing you naturally do it more now.

Danielle Schleese: 08:29

Oh, that's so sweet. That's such a great compliment. Yeah. That's funny because I feel like culturally, for instance, like my background and upbringing, it's and even just in society, like, today, you see it no matter whether you're in the West or the East, like, productivity and contribution is such a valued thing. Like, you even see with daycare going back to work Yeah.

Danielle Schleese: 08:52

Six weeks. Some moms are ready for it because they need to have that time to themselves, and we briefly touched upon that before Mhmm. Where you kind of that separation and that break. But I did wanna ask you a question, which was kind of like alongside the same themes was like, when was do you think that there was like a time specifically when you felt really in touch with your femininity? And that was like a moment that was like a defining moment where like, oh,

Briana Donaldson: 09:18

this feels really freeing for me. For sure. So I think well, there was a period of time in my life where I think that everything felt freeing for me because I literally surrendered to the universe. When I I lived in Australia for five months. I moved to Indonesia for a month and lived literally in the middle of the jungle.

Briana Donaldson: 09:40

I'm talking like I did not own a pair of shoes. I there was no there was no, like, physical home over top of my head. It was an elevated bed off of the floor in the middle of the mountains in the jungle. And I really chose to dedicate that time to tuning into myself so deeply to try and understand mostly what my feminine essence was. Because I think that leading up to that, I, like you said, you know, living in Toronto, such a big city, working constantly, and success and money and productivity was the goal.

Briana Donaldson: 10:29

That was always the goal. Like, how can I be best at

Danielle Schleese: 10:32

my job? It's the buzzing energy down there too, right?

Briana Donaldson: 10:34

It's like busy hustle. The hustle bustle, the constant, like, who's gonna make more money? Who's gonna be the most successful? Like, you without even thinking or knowing it or feeling like it, like, you have you are constantly feeling like, oh, I have to be better than the girl next to me in order to be the best at my job.

Danielle Schleese: 10:52

Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 10:53

And so when I completely extracted myself from that and went to the polar opposite environment and lived in the middle of the jungle, And it was 500 degrees it felt like every day. So I was in, you know, little to no clothing. Not that that's a factor, but it was a little bit in terms of like me tuning into my femininity because my body was very much involved in that process. Mhmm. And I stripped myself of everything, of my culture, of my diet, of my standard daily practices of, like, doing my hair and makeup.

Briana Donaldson: 11:31

There's no hair and makeup. There wasn't even mirror.

Danielle Schleese: 11:32

You all I did remember you came home and you were so convinced you were gonna shave your head. Yeah. Thought I like because at that point, you're like, my hair is so you had that revelation. Oh, hair is so connected to my femininity, my identity of myself.

Briana Donaldson: 11:45

Like who I'm going

Danielle Schleese: 11:45

am to shave it to challenge myself. Yeah. But then, you know, it's it's just as quick as an instance of coming back into a cultural position Mhmm. Where instantly that's something that's valued and rewarded. And I couldn't.

Danielle Schleese: 11:57

I felt like I couldn't.

Briana Donaldson: 11:58

Yeah. So I think that having that time to be so free and liberated to experience and feel anything I wanted to without having a single iota of connection to my visual appearance.

Danielle Schleese: 12:21

It was just Something you didn't focus on.

Briana Donaldson: 12:24

No. There was no there there was not a there was no mirror there. And there's no reason to? No. Because no one, anyone that lived in the middle

Danielle Schleese: 12:31

of the jungle, which

Briana Donaldson: 12:32

was very few beings, the monkeys saw me naked more than any anything. But it was it was a very liberating experience, and it was a very moving experience in terms of, like, reconnecting with my deepest parts of myself. And it was not until I was able to experience that

Danielle Schleese: 12:54

Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 12:54

That I came home and realized my value, if that makes sense, as a woman, as a woman in a whole new way. Because how I place my value on myself prior to that experience was probably very much physical, very much visual, very much like a more tangible thing. But after having this experience, it was totally the opposite. It was energetic. Like, who I am as a woman, as a as a female, and my feminine energy and essence was strictly Like, do you find

Danielle Schleese: 13:32

that changed once you got back? Like, did it go back

Briana Donaldson: 13:34

Over the time, I'm sure, like, those external influences penetrated and seeped in slowly

Danielle Schleese: 13:44

Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 13:44

To where the the physical portion of of the Yeah. Of it came came into play again. Absolutely. But I think what it did is that it laid these small bricks within my own foundation of myself Yeah. That have never left.

Briana Donaldson: 14:04

So even though I've had the experiences of definitely things being more physical, and I and I'm sure that every woman can relate to this. Like, relating to the fact that you feel so much, especially in today's day and age. I mean, what what are we what do we see every time we're scrolling on our phone? Every time we're researching something is how do people look?

Danielle Schleese: 14:29

Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 14:30

And you know, I saw this really interesting interesting fact or quote or however you whatever it was. But it was basically saying like human brains are not designed to see their reflection as often as we do. Yes. Human beings are designed to only see their reflection at a glimpse when we're looking into a body of water such as a pond or a river, as, you know, as a still river or something like that. We are not designed to see our reflection

Danielle Schleese: 15:03

as a So here's my new question. Why do you think so many women today struggle with embracing their femininity?

Briana Donaldson: 15:13

I think it's a combination of things. I think that there's so many so many parts to answering that question. Number one is I think that we are inundated with the image of what we should be externally. Mhmm. Number two is we are not supported societally in terms of what we bring to the table with our innate values and innate powers and and abilities.

Briana Donaldson: 15:47

Our culture is so focused and driven on productivity and success in terms of finances or productivity in the workspace. And I think that women are taken out of place. We are taken out of those slow, intentional, intuitive flow of where we should be and where we thrive the most. And we are boxed into the rest of the world, which is if you are not productive, then you hold no space here. If you are not productive, then you hold no value here.

Briana Donaldson: 16:27

And so I

Danielle Schleese: 16:27

While looking and you must be perfect

Briana Donaldson: 16:31

and youthful and beautiful. And you're not allowed to age. And you're not allowed to complain. And you have

Danielle Schleese: 16:36

to have all of those things.

Briana Donaldson: 16:37

And right. Not to mention, just like we brought up in a previous in a previous episode and will continue to for yeah. Forever. But also hope to have honestly a whole season dedicated to this because it's I'm this is probably what I'm most passionate about. But we are on a twenty eight day cycle.

Briana Donaldson: 16:57

Yeah. And for any human being to expect a female who is on a twenty eight day or, you know, any kind of menstrual cycle to be somebody that they're not in the phase that they're not in.

Danielle Schleese: 17:16

Explain that a bit more.

Briana Donaldson: 17:19

The female cycle is four weeks. Yeah. Each week has its own characteristics and its own Hormonal Hormonal fluctuations. And hormonal fluctuations. And every single hormone that is released from your reproductive organs into your bloodstream goes directly to your brain.

Briana Donaldson: 17:38

And your brain, depending on which hormones it is interacting with, receiving, and releasing, it's going to function different. And when it functions different, we have been trained as women to ignore it. We have been trained in our society to say, well, doesn't fucking matter because I still need to go to work today and produce what I produced last week when I was in my luteal phase or when I was in my ovulatory phase. Well, guess what? That is not how we function.

Danielle Schleese: 18:09

I know. We are again And it's you're trained to almost, like, keep it secret. Like, act as though nothing's happened. Right? Like, you know how, like, phrases are accepted?

Danielle Schleese: 18:16

Like, oh, she's just I hate this. Just on her rag. The amount of Yeah. Think about the guys that we grew up with in our town that would use that phrase, she's on her rag. It's just so gross.

Danielle Schleese: 18:28

And it's just like, oh, she's a bitch because

Briana Donaldson: 18:31

she's

Danielle Schleese: 18:32

must be on her rag. And it's just like a negative, like, spit to the side. Like, don't don't even pay attention because she's, like, less than. Also, in a way

Briana Donaldson: 18:42

hate break it to you. But if it weren't for me bleeding every month,

Danielle Schleese: 18:48

you wouldn't exist. It weren't idea at a time, Brianna.

Briana Donaldson: 18:53

If it weren't if it weren't for me bleeding every month, there wouldn't there would be no more life beyond us. Yeah. And it's just like anyways, that's honestly, that's like its its whole own topic, and and we'll get into that, hopefully, like I said, for a whole season at some point with phenomenal guests that we have lined up. But for now, we'll stay on topic about the femininity. And to circle back to to all of it, I just think that it is extremely challenging when we are put in a world, in a society, and in a position where we are expected to focus on drive productivity, and that's where value is held so deeply within our culture.

Briana Donaldson: 19:39

Mhmm. And and our true essence, and I think in order for our true femininity to thrive and flourish is to not focus on the productivity, but to tune into that cycle and our intuition things

Danielle Schleese: 19:55

like that. You, like, said something earlier how it's just like the the way that society and culture is kinda set up is it's being highly visual, the representation of femininity Absolutely. And kind of having those external pressures and beauty standards as much as social media has played a huge and is playing a huge and will continue to play a huge role in the misconstruction of that word and abuse almost Yeah. In that being a very visual representation and misunderstanding of the word. I also feel like social media at the same time too is bringing forward a lot more voices who can properly articulate and celebrate the true essence of what femininity really is and educate people and offer solutions and embrace what that is.

Danielle Schleese: 20:53

So I feel like kind of a way to embrace femininity is by not only finding another woman or other men who even are feminine, but other people who are feminine and supporting them or following along their journey and kind of tapping into how they express that and celebrating those features and those attributes and also recognizing that it femininity does lie on a spectrum. Like, it really isn't one way of living. It isn't one way of representing that word, but it's also embracing it as a part of your cycle and life because we are cyclic beings. Yep. The world runs, nature runs in cycles.

Danielle Schleese: 21:39

There's nothing that's, like, on all the time Right. Unless you live in The Caribbean. And they're chill all the time. And that's why. No.

Danielle Schleese: 21:50

But there there is always a season. There's always a change. There's a time for introspection. There's a time for flourishing. And alongside with that masculine energy that we value so much and praise and encourage and emphasize in society and in our culture, specifically here in the West, it is so harmonious to lean into that side of that femininity.

Danielle Schleese: 22:13

Yeah. But it's also I think it starts with just kind of like having a simple understanding of what that looks like. But I

Briana Donaldson: 22:20

think that a good place to to jump from there is finding the right role models. Yes. Like, I think that it's so easy for women, especially young girls

Danielle Schleese: 22:35

Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 22:35

But for all women, honestly. My point being is that even as a full grown adult woman with children, like, I'm looking out into the world, who are my role models?

Danielle Schleese: 22:49

Who are they?

Briana Donaldson: 22:49

Like, really, who who who are the my mom is a massive role model to me. My mom is phenomenal.

Danielle Schleese: 22:55

That's amazing.

Briana Donaldson: 22:56

Like, I feel so blessed, so grateful to have a mom that I, you know, I can look up to in so many ways. Well, like,

Danielle Schleese: 23:02

let's say not in your in your close circle. If you're on social media, like, let's say a lot of people don't have a close connection to their mother. Like, if you were just on social media and you're, you know, well, let's just say you, for instance, as an example, do you have anybody on social media that you look at when you see them like that woman is in their femininity or a man and you're like, I love that and I admire that, and that opens it up within you. Who would that be?

Briana Donaldson: 23:21

I do. There's there's I'm, as you know, obviously, extremely immersed and involved in the spiritual worlds. Mhmm. Sue Mortar would be a role model for me. Is What?

Briana Donaldson: 23:38

Her practices and her and her courses and her coaching and what she represents is she's she's a feminine woman in in my opinion, yet she has dedicated her life to helping all humans, like elevate to their truest potential energetically and spiritually and tune into their their most authentic selves. And so for me, that's someone that I that I obviously would see as a role model. My spiritual coach, Kathy.

Danielle Schleese: 24:13

Oh, shout out

Briana Donaldson: 24:14

to Kathy Roseboro. Love. She we wouldn't be sitting in

Danielle Schleese: 24:18

the my spiritual coach too.

Briana Donaldson: 24:19

If it if it wasn't if it wasn't for her, we would not be sitting here. Yeah. Because she is, I believe, like the most authentic representation of being kind and soft in her messaging of the polarity of the male and the female. So true. So well said.

Briana Donaldson: 24:41

She is nonjudgmental and has educated me and reaffirmed what I've felt within my own belief systems, which is there is such a polarity between male and female and feminine and masculine, but in a way that should be nurtured and in a way that should be supportive of one another.

Danielle Schleese: 25:07

I think your range is so good because you pick somebody who is very personal in your life, like your close, close circle of women, that's your mother. Mhmm. Second is somebody you don't know, personally, is a social media person. Yeah. And then third is somebody that you are, like, you know you're connected to, but she's not your family.

Danielle Schleese: 25:24

She's not Yeah. Some like an influence on social media, but she's somebody that's impacted your life directly Yeah. In terms of like your your paths cross crossing. So I feel like having a broad range of women and influences are so important. And I think that's a great example of showing that it's like, hey, if you don't have somebody in your family, that's fine.

Danielle Schleese: 25:43

You can still find somebody on social media. If you're not on social media, that's fine. It could be somebody in your life path that you may have met. But also, like,

Briana Donaldson: 25:50

it takes work. Like, you can't I and I don't think that we should expect to go out into the world and do no work and receive back what we're hoping for.

Danielle Schleese: 26:05

Stand there with your hand out and wait.

Briana Donaldson: 26:07

Yeah. I you know, I I think that that's such a misrepresentation of what life is all about. And when it comes to women, as much as we are soft and tender and loving and kind and nurturing and all of these things, it doesn't mean that we can't go out and ask for what we want. It doesn't mean that we can't go out and and request from the universe. It doesn't mean that we can't go out and be productive and work hard and have all these attributes that may be seen as more masculine, but it's about I think finding the balance, tuning in and tapping into your deeper feminine self, and then orchestrating your life based on from that place.

Briana Donaldson: 26:47

From that place. So when you are productive, when you are going out there to work, to function, to, you know, orchestrate your life, it's from a deeper feminine place.

Danielle Schleese: 26:57

So what's one of the biggest things you think that you have applied to your life Good advice. That has allowed you to really connect to and embrace that feminine side of you?

Briana Donaldson: 27:14

That's a really hard question to answer. Good one. It is a good one. I feel as though in recent years, it's been more challenging. Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 27:30

Which is ironic because now I have two daughters. But I think that for me, what happened when I had kids was I felt like I had to work so hard.

Danielle Schleese: 27:42

Gonna say it had to play a role in your identity for sure becoming a mother as well. So that also shifts Yeah. You. Yeah. And same to you.

Danielle Schleese: 27:50

I wanna hear your answer, and then I wanna tell you what I've seen in you. Oh, interesting.

Briana Donaldson: 27:57

Yeah. So I feel like since having children, I have built such a deeper inner strength that I actually never knew could exist within me. I I literally didn't know that that part of me existed. And I'm not talking about like, oh, when you're a mom, like, you love your kids and you have this love that you didn't know, which is also true. But I'm talking like this strength where after Aubrey was born, my first daughter, I swear I felt like if a truck came barreling at me, I would have just fucking pushed it away with my hand.

Briana Donaldson: 28:35

I was like, I can take on anything. Like, no one can mess with me. No one can

Danielle Schleese: 28:40

That's funny because that seems like a physical strength Right.

Briana Donaldson: 28:44

Almost like a masculine Like a masculine trait. And yet, it was from, like, the depths of my body and soul. Like, the most mother bear. Powerful. Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 28:56

The most powerful feeling I've ever felt was becoming a mom. Mhmm. And since now, of course, that my, you know, my kids are almost five and and two and a half. I it's almost only now that I feel I'm I'm taking the time and I have the time and I have the energy and have the opportunity to now tune back into the softer side of my feminine self. And so that I get I I don't even know if

Danielle Schleese: 29:29

I answered the question. For me, I when I look at you and I see how you've really come into, also just from, like, learning the connection to femininity and what that whole concept means, looking in at you because sometimes it's a little bit easier to kind of, like, look at somebody from the outside than to analyze ourselves. Of course. I mean, probably a lot of times it's easier. For me, I really see you setting like, you have this empowerment about you, which is I think how you kinda describe that with you and Aubrey and becoming a mother.

Danielle Schleese: 30:02

Like, you really make sure that you are you know the difference between feeling empowered and not. Right. You're not just living in a state of low battery and like emptiness. Right. You just you know the difference when you are, when you're not, and when something's off.

Danielle Schleese: 30:15

Yeah. And you're able to call that out Mhmm. A lot easier. Mhmm. Versus just kind of accepting that this is life and you're in this space and this is what it is and you're kind of staying in this frequency.

Danielle Schleese: 30:26

You're able to really choose those things. And the second thing would be your boundaries. Like, I really see you setting boundaries within yourself, within your life, within your choices, and you just have like a hard line in. And that goes for any part of your life. Yep.

Danielle Schleese: 30:44

But I also think that comes with, like, age and experience too. Mhmm. And I think a lot of times, like, you can teach and teach and advise somebody younger than you, and, like, I think that comes natural from a parent to a child. You wanna naturally give them your life lessons and give them advice to avoid things to prevent pain that you may have experienced in your life or avoid issues. But I feel like it's so necessary for a human's pathway to just experience their own versions of those traits.

Danielle Schleese: 31:14

Yep. Yep. But for you, I would say I really see you embracing your femininity by putting down those boundaries, which also is interestingly seems like a masculine trait because you're just putting a hard stop to things Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 31:25

Like a hard no Yeah.

Danielle Schleese: 31:26

Versus feminine, which is, like, more flowy and go with the fluid. Right. Right. Whatever. But it's like you you know when it's going to affect you energetically.

Danielle Schleese: 31:36

And when it does, you stop. Well and also, I

Briana Donaldson: 31:38

feel like that is the essence first of all, thank you. Thanks. This is the truth. So I appreciate I appreciate the observation and the the all that. But it's it's I I don't know if ironic is the right way to describe it, but the way you said it, like, having that boundary and putting a stop to things.

Briana Donaldson: 32:01

But it is almost feminine because

Danielle Schleese: 32:04

It's very feminine.

Briana Donaldson: 32:06

When yeah. Because when you want to be your truest self as a as a feminine woman, you do not accept or receive anything that will make you feel you Less have than. Less than. You will not accept or receive anything that makes you feel you have to protect yourself. You will not receive or accept anything that puts you in a state of having to hold a masculine energy.

Danielle Schleese: 32:37

Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 32:38

So you just have to or just like come like conceal it Right. Show face, show up, ignore, which listen, when you're a mom, you have to do

Danielle Schleese: 32:48

You have to do

Briana Donaldson: 32:49

Yeah. Sometimes you just gotta cry in a fucking pantry for a minute.

Danielle Schleese: 32:53

Oh my god. There's so many spectrums.

Briana Donaldson: 32:54

Get it together and But in terms of, like, the bigger picture, macro, macro scale here, Holding boundaries, although it seems like abrupt and firm and stark and and and more masculine, it's probably the best thing you can do for your feminine energy because you must protect you must protect it, but in a way that is still feminine. Like, what a what a What a ride? Oxymoron. But, you know, I I think that one of the difficulties and one of the challenges is that our society and our culture does not create a space that is supportive of vulnerability.

Danielle Schleese: 33:43

So how would you live more in alignment with with your feminine essence? I think that

Briana Donaldson: 33:51

you begin to. I mean, you know, this is just my own opinion. I'm not a specialist on anything. And I'm personally am still discovering the answer to that question. I think that I'm still on a journey very much of trying to find ways to live in my most authentic feminine essence.

Briana Donaldson: 34:10

But I do know that being vulnerable is courageous. And living and functioning from a state of authenticity, love, and vulnerability is the best thing that you can do for yourself as a human. That's not that's not just for women. That is for everyone. And I believe so deeply that if we could start a conversation that trickled and rippled into the world of accepting and allowing and holding space for vulnerability, feminine energy and essence of our planet would grow and our and humans would be nurtured

Danielle Schleese: 34:57

for big one I think is is releasing that pressure. And I think maybe I'm saying this because it's highly connected to my own self, but releasing that pressure for perfectionism and allowing yourself to sit into the process and the rest and the slowness alongside that ambitious side. So how do you feel like you do that? Because you are very much a type personality. Yes.

Danielle Schleese: 35:25

Slightly OCD.

Briana Donaldson: 35:26

Yes. You were raised by two German parents that are very, you know, like productivity, very much like disciplined, like, me see what you're doing. So for you, how would you say coming from that experience and being who you are and how you were raised, how do you feel like you are finding avenues to best balance that?

Danielle Schleese: 35:50

I would really say having to unlearn the norm the normalness Mhmm. Normal. That being norm. Mhmm. Because that was that was my normal.

Danielle Schleese: 36:02

Of course. And really leaning into the self care. Because I feel like with me and my career, like, I really was starting with makeup and beauty and self care rituals and stuff. So like that's and just being a woman too, that's something that's celebrated and encouraged and taught now, especially with social media. And that being like an area of focus in business and studies for me, that was just something where I naturally kind of started to explore and lean into.

Danielle Schleese: 36:36

Mhmm. So I would say really letting myself enjoy a self care without making me feel like it's something that I feel Guilty. Guilty for doing and feel making it kind of a necessity, like taking a bath, you know, like having a plan and prepare for that and make sure things are to the side and someone can watch the kids so I can have a twenty minute. Mhmm. And then when I'm in there, we're like, okay, I'm done.

Danielle Schleese: 37:04

Like, I should get out and get back to it. You know? And I do did did a lot and still do have those mental battles. But then also, I mean, I haven't had my period for a very long time because we were talking about this earlier, but with being pregnant and having kids and breastfeeding for, like, the last three, four years, really learning and honoring my cycle. So I'm excited to get my period again and, like, really understand the follicular phase, the menstrual phase, like, the the the scientific science behind the phases Right.

Briana Donaldson: 37:34

And then

Danielle Schleese: 37:35

also the energetic science behind those phases. Right. Then really tracking where I am and aligning my approach to it hormone fluctuation, but also like my lifestyle to the phase that I'm in. Mhmm. And embracing that.

Danielle Schleese: 37:49

Yeah. And then also, because of my history and career choices in the past of it being a very physical representation of beauty and makeup and all that stuff. External. External validations. Kind of changing my relationship to those rituals as well, that being a different type of ritual and more of, like, an approach of being a more adornment situation when it comes to beauty and the body and understanding the changes that come with it.

Danielle Schleese: 38:25

And and then also, I, like, I have this strong urge to tell other women about it and teach other women about it. And I think that's kind of like how my path has navigated into here and where we are today because of all of those interests. So that's kind of how I deal with it now. And yeah. I also feel like now my parents have become very much more lackadaisical Germans because they've been so they've been so westernized now for so many years.

Briana Donaldson: 38:55

And they're a little bit older.

Danielle Schleese: 38:57

And then they just don't give a shit. Might have to do a

Briana Donaldson: 38:59

little bit with their age.

Danielle Schleese: 39:00

Yeah. And they can't

Briana Donaldson: 39:01

and they can't

Danielle Schleese: 39:02

really, really tell me what to do anymore. So Yeah. Although, Tuesday, though.

Briana Donaldson: 39:08

But yeah. So, you know, I for I love your answer. I've I have loved watching you grow, and it's been so interesting to see you go through the phases of your life from an external perspective just like you were saying. Like, sometimes

Danielle Schleese: 39:29

Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 39:29

Of course. Not sometimes. Always. Always. Always.

Briana Donaldson: 39:32

You can see someone else's life from a totally different perspective from than from within yourself. So to hear you answer that is great, but, you know, I'm proud of you for doing so many things and making adjustments and and allowing yourself to accept certain things and letting go of some of the pressure. Yeah. You still have a lot of it. Still got a You still have a

Danielle Schleese: 40:01

lot of it. But it's self pressure these days.

Briana Donaldson: 40:03

Well and and it's also pressure around things that make bring you joy. It's not pressure around things that

Danielle Schleese: 40:09

you feel like you

Briana Donaldson: 40:10

have to do maybe Yep. As more as it is like, well, I have to do it, but it's but I'm the end goal is towards something that I really love and believe in and all these things.

Danielle Schleese: 40:19

Yes.

Briana Donaldson: 40:20

Yeah. Feel like

Danielle Schleese: 40:21

that's a great key takeaway Yeah. From this episode is to kind of like I think we said this for the last episode actually, is to really analyze those feelings and those moments that bring you those feelings. Joy. Joy. And then

Briana Donaldson: 40:33

work at that. Start to work your energy at that. At that.

Danielle Schleese: 40:36

Because you know what? If having microbladed brows and having attention and, you know, getting all the benefits from those things physically really brings you that authentic joy, and it will continue to bring that joy even when you age because

Briana Donaldson: 40:48

If microbladed Whatever.

Danielle Schleese: 40:49

I'm just saying,

Briana Donaldson: 40:50

like, a physical trait. You know? Joy. Get that shit on baby.

Danielle Schleese: 40:55

Like, when you when we get a spray tan Yes. Like, we got it. We're like, oh my god. I feel like I can do anything. I can't

Briana Donaldson: 41:00

For sure. We both have microbladed blah blah blah blah blah.

Danielle Schleese: 41:03

That's a tongue twister. But you have to think long term. Yeah. You have to think I'm like, oh my god. You never think you're gonna age.

Danielle Schleese: 41:13

Like, I never think I'm going to look older than I'm 34. But if I was 24 and I'm looking at myself now, I'm just like,

Briana Donaldson: 41:17

oh my god. 34 is

Danielle Schleese: 41:18

You look this sick. Sick. Know? Like, it's what are those what are those things called? Like, dinosaurs.

Danielle Schleese: 41:25

Like, the prehistoric. Like it's Prehistoric. Like if I I remember when I was younger and I was in school and I was like, I'm gonna pretend I'm 17 because that is so old. And I was like, 17? You're baby.

Danielle Schleese: 41:34

How cute. Anyway

Briana Donaldson: 41:38

17. I just Well, you know, I think that the major takeaways from today is there's there's a few things. Yep. I think that number one is I think that every each and every individual has to redefine what femininity is for them and what the feminine energy and essence is for them. And then I think that once we can get to a place where we can truly understand what that is, we have to begin to embrace the vulnerability that comes along with that and the self expression that will come out of that.

Briana Donaldson: 42:15

I think that embracing the vulnerability is actually one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves. Because like I said earlier, I believe and I tell my children this and I tell my husband this, vulnerability is a superpower. Mhmm. It is one of the most courageous things that you can do. Yeah.

Briana Donaldson: 42:37

And so I think that as women, that is that is one of our superpowers that we are born with. So we must tune into that more. And we must truly have the self expression to be so authentic within that vulnerability that it's actually powerful. Actually the opposite of vulnerability. It's actually the most powerful thing that we've got going.

Briana Donaldson: 42:58

And from there, I mean, we got to celebrate it. Like, let's just not make this some like deep, as much as it is, like, this deep, innate feeling in something that we have But deep let's celebrate it. Like, celebrate the femininity. Celebrate being vulnerable. Celebrate believing and tuning in and tapping into and following your intuition.

Briana Donaldson: 43:19

Let's celebrate, you know, wanting to wear a skirt or throw on some pink lipstick if that's what femininity is for you. Let's celebrate, you know, dancing to a certain song or, you know, speaking a certain way or cooking

Danielle Schleese: 43:31

because a who cares? Whatever cares.

Briana Donaldson: 43:34

Whatever cares. Femininity yeah. Is for you, celebrate it. Because no one it does not know what anyone else thinks about it does not matter. It literally doesn't matter.

Briana Donaldson: 43:44

What you believe femininity is

Danielle Schleese: 43:45

for That makes me so curious. I want to know I feel like you guys I would we would love to hear from you, first of all. And come message us on social media, give us a DM, or just comment on the show wherever. Just get in touch with us somehow. What do you what is your expression of femininity, and how do you celebrate that, or how do you embrace that?

Danielle Schleese: 44:04

And what do you think that is, or what does that look like to you? Like, let's start this conversation going. Let's inspire other women. And even just ideas and concepts to kind of just play with that Great. Let us know.

Danielle Schleese: 44:15

So I think that, you know, it's such a broad topic. We hope to dive into it deeper as Mhmm.

Briana Donaldson: 44:22

As the seasons go on. And, you know, if there's any particular branch or aspect of any of our topics that you feel would be so much appreciated that we dive deeper into, we're always open. So please let us know that as well. But Yes. Women, men alike, we we love you.

Briana Donaldson: 44:39

We're sending we're sending all of our feminine energy your way, and we hope to hear from you. Find us on all social platforms and all hosting platforms for both visual and audio podcasts at the Honey Toast Podcast. And we hope you tune in next week for a new episode around deep healing. And there are all the avenues that come along with that. And, there's probably gonna be several seasons.

Briana Donaldson: 45:07

Yeah.

Danielle Schleese: 45:07

These topic these topics are just Broad. Think about these as, like, our pillars for the seasons coming up because we just we really wanna give you guys a taste of, like, what you can expect with a podcast and what kind of topics we're gonna be talking about. But there's, like, these are our umbrellas. We're just we're feeling a trickle. So get under umbrella, catch the vibe, catch our drizzle.

Danielle Schleese: 45:27

Honey b and drizzle d out.