Briana: 00:00

All of this to say it's not about finding a resolution. I think it's just about having more integration

Danielle: 00:08

Mhmm.

Briana: 00:08

In the direction that you're heading towards. It's not you know, that old saying goes, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey, and I think that that's really applicable here. Hi. Welcome back to the Honey Toast podcast.

Danielle: 00:31

Welcome back. It's been a minute. I've missed you.

Briana: 00:33

I missed you.

Danielle: 00:35

I mean, I still miss you. You're still far away, but you know what I mean. I've missed I've missed this.

Briana: 00:40

Yes. Me too. Between moving across the country, having three birthdays, and, I don't know, like, six holidays after our move until now, lots of technical difficulties.

Danielle: 00:55

It's been it's been a whole it's been a season of its own, like an off screen, offline camera. So thank you guys for joining us, for our listeners. We also just found out we were in the top 15% of the Spotify listeners for 2025, which is insane and so exciting. And we need to set some sort of celebration brief because

Briana: 01:15

I agree.

Danielle: 01:16

It was a lot of work our first year. Like, we talked about it a little bit on our lives a lot more than I think either you or I anticipated. Definitely.

Briana: 01:25

I think what we've both been going through and realizing through these last, you know, six months in this phase of life, and it's ironic because even though we had this big chunk of time where we weren't recording episodes and we weren't able to get episodes out, I feel like we were both going through so much that Mhmm. Who we are now in order to produce the upcoming episodes is a completely different version of us with different insight and different perspective than we would have been had we continued to record that whole way through. So I think it's all meant to be.

Danielle: 02:04

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So let's let's let's start off. Okay?

Danielle: 02:08

I guess we're still technically in season two because we kind of left off in mid November, kind of left you guys hanging a little bit. We did move into lives on a weekly basis. I'm just trying to keep you informed. If you didn't see a force see us over there on Instagram and you've just kind of are following us here on the podcast platform, basically, catch you up where we were, we were hopping on lives weekly just to kind of keep the momentum going, conversations going that we didn't disappear or anything. We just had to take a step back and kind of reset and reevaluate ourselves.

Danielle: 02:37

So let's go back to November and start from there and then talk about the New Year and kind of, there's some really important themes that we wanna bring up today that is an underlying affecting both of us and kind of the growth and changes we've experienced over these past few months and just the energy around, I think. So November. Wasn't November? It was October we were in Arizona visiting Yeah.

Briana: 03:01

You and Sam and Lisa all came to visit in October. We had only been living in the new house for I think a month, maybe. I can't.

Danielle: 03:11

I was gonna say two weeks. I was like, wasn't it two weeks?

Briana: 03:13

Honestly, might have been two or three weeks. It was it was really quick. No. Yeah. It was.

Briana: 03:18

You're right. It was like two or three weeks when you guys came. So life was very chaotic still at that time.

Danielle: 03:25

And The girls just started school. Like, what were we thinking?

Briana: 03:29

Yeah. I think well, it's I said this to you when you were here. I don't know I think because of baseball and having moved so many times over the years, in my mind, I was like, oh, it's just another move. It usually takes me about two weeks to get settled back in and back into a routine. Over the years of experience of moving, I figured this out, but I was not prepared for how big this move was because it was the first time that it was a permanent move and not a temporary one, which meant Mhmm.

Briana: 04:02

We had to actually uproot and move our entire lives. And Josh had also been retired for two years, so we got into such a routine. And I think I was totally oblivious to how big and what a change it would be. So two weeks was gross grossly under underrated of how much time I needed to get settled in, more like four months, but here we are.

Danielle: 04:29

I think where we went wrong was not only that it was two weeks of your biggest move of your life, was that we were trying to combine two birthday trips Yep. A girl's trip Yep. A work trip, a moving in trip Yep. All in like four or five days while sightseeing, while connecting, while we're A lot. And having children Yep.

Danielle: 04:50

There, my god. It was just it was a lot for I think all of our nervous systems. So and it being just like that time of year with fall coming back here, we had just gotten overhand foot and mouth disease. I had just gotten my initiation into like my outbreak of psoriasis and like that journey into my own healthcare and nervous system reset. And that's where you guys like really saw that gap with us was kind of like that a little bit more silence recalibration also being mixed with the holidays.

Danielle: 05:21

You have your daughter's birthday, Thanksgiving. It was your husband's fortieth, Christmas. Your family came down. It was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah.

Danielle: 05:29

I don't think it was like so much of, you know, like as modern women these days are always being sold the lie that we can do it all and have it all. So it's like running a side hustle on top of a business while being a full time mom while being a good friend and wife and sister and all these things. We're always told we can have it all. And then like you believe it because there's moments where you have the energy to do it all, but at what cost? It always kinda leads to this burnout.

Danielle: 05:52

So I think that this is a this was really good for you and I to have a recalibration and reorganization and not seeing it as like, oh, we didn't say as consistent. That was we would have liked to. We failed. No. It's just kind of like moving like life does and women do and people do.

Danielle: 06:08

And it's pausing, redirecting, shifting. It's like our commitment to each other and this work will never shift. It's just kind of like the pattern in which we present it and how we live it changes as time goes on. So we will do our best to keep you guys as informed and be as transparent as we go through these things so you can be along for the journey because we go through a lot more of the same things than I think we realize. Yep.

Danielle: 06:34

So And, yeah, I don't I our fall.

Briana: 06:36

Don't even think it was a break necessarily. It was just we just weren't recording, but life was not on on break. I feel like we were still going through everything and still having our weekly meetings and still Mhmm. You know, very much busy,

Danielle: 06:57

but Involved.

Briana: 06:58

Yes. And involved. Right. Okay. But now we're back to

Danielle: 07:03

Yeah.

Briana: 07:04

Producing episodes and hopefully all of this life experience is giving us some Right.

Danielle: 07:10

Perspective And and I think, like, for me and you, it's kind of like the acceptance of where we're at because you and I have been friends for like twenty three years, best friends, and so involved in each other's lives. Like, literally, we were romantic partners without the without the romance. And they say like, you need to treat your girlfriends like a romantic partner. You know, you talk to them the same way, do nice things for them, think about them in that way.

Briana: 07:39

And like nurture Yeah. The

Danielle: 07:42

And it's just like there's nothing like hanging out with your best friend and just like just being in their presence. Yeah. And for you and I, that's something that's so rare these days Mhmm. These years because of our littles. So even when we are together, it's which I love the littles together too.

Danielle: 07:59

But it's it's just such a different transition from how you and I have lived our lives and have always been and how we envision this podcast being, which is like together and hanging out. But in a way, is also like a great temporary connection to you because even though it is virtual, it's at least still having the conversations that we have. But Yeah. It's not the same. I miss you.

Briana: 08:20

Obviously, on that note, anyone watching this visually can see that Danielle and I for our first time are recording separately. We're not together. So Danielle has her Yeah. Little setup back in Canada and I have my little setup here in Arizona. And it's just that that phase of life where it's very difficult for us to be together in person at the moment with me go going through my green card process and, like Danielle said, busy with kids and family and life and schedules and trips and holidays and all that.

Briana: 08:55

So we thought this is a great way for us to still hopefully be able to stay on track, connect with each other, connect with you guys out there and still be able to really talk about what's coming up for us and and the relevance of current topics whilst not being together in person. So, yes, although I miss you and I would much rather you be sitting next to me right now so that I could stare deep into your eyes. This will do.

Danielle: 09:20

I'll zoom in the camera really close so you can see it before. Yeah. I mean, I did that earlier and I was like, wow. I've never seen that before. Oh, I love I have, but I have to.

Briana: 09:29

When you leaned in so close to the camera, was like, oh, I love seeing your face What's up? It feels like it's real. It feels like I'm right there

Danielle: 09:35

with That's what life is about. It's about taking a step back and taking a look at yourself from all possible angles, not just literally Yeah. But, like, in every way. Yep. And jumping off that topic, I feel like something huge for me that came up and that is really coming up for me is, like, the fact that there is a difference between having this awareness and then embodying the awareness.

Danielle: 09:58

And we've been talking about a little bit back and forth just like the idea and concept of that. And it's something I actually see reflected so much more in society now that it just it just makes me want to explore that gap and that difference of it. And I didn't notice and realize, like, how different they actually were until I'm I'm really at this point where I am in that gap Right. Myself. Right.

Danielle: 10:21

Honestly, I feel

Briana: 10:22

like I am too because it's one thing entirely to absorb knowledge and be informed and read and educate yourself on things and learn new things and absorb I feel like we're in this current state where we're constantly absorbing information, but to actually apply it to yourself or to your life or to your habits an entirely And different so I I also feel like I'm very much in the gap of seeing things and knowing things that I want to apply and wanna change and habits I wanna start having, but actually having them and actually partaking and embodying them is a completely different space.

Danielle: 11:12

Yeah. So if you are somebody who feels burnt out, dysregulated, or emotionally maybe a little unstable, then this could just be a sign that this awareness there's a difference between there is, like, being aware in that and that, you know, that's actually a calling for you to integrate those feelings now into life and into living. I don't know if I'm translating or explaining this clearly. So for me, like I'm I feel like I'm very aware of things. I like to it's actually a trauma response I found out, but it's like you're almost predicting expectations or what people might think or say about you before.

Danielle: 11:55

So you get like ahead of the curve and like prepare yourself for that almost. I don't know exactly like what I'm trying to say here, but like if you're always preparing and performing and changing yourself And I'm like learning, learning, learning. I'm like, yep. I'm aware. How do I change?

Danielle: 12:09

Yep. I'm aware. How do I improve myself? And I'm like a very cerebral into like cognitive person. So it creates this like gap of space between me knowing what I would like to be like, how I would like to live my life, how I would like to enjoy my days versus like actually experiencing that.

Danielle: 12:28

So it's like one thing saying something and then it's one thing living it and actually embodying it. And I think that that was a huge lesson or kind of connection that I've made for myself over this holiday is realizing that I'm like, I'm very aware but how do I be that now? Right? So what often happens is we create shame when we are sitting within that gap because we don't know how to get from A to B. Right.

Danielle: 12:55

But we know that we should be there or we want to be there. So why aren't we? So it creates that kind of added layer to let's break that down and work through there. So I kind of feel like this is a very common theme for most women, a lot of my friends that I'm talking to, like a lot of women online too, is that like, Okay, we're all very aware of things that are going on. We're starting to ask questions.

Danielle: 13:15

We're starting to be more conscious of like, I'm not feeling good. Why am I not feeling good? Hence, we start to do more childhood trauma work, inner healing. But it's like, Okay, now I know this. I'm doing it.

Danielle: 13:27

But I still don't know how to embody it and live it. So for me, that's like very much where I am in. I'm in the transition of actually embodying the practice and feeling again in my body, which is hard to do because it doesn't we don't have much time in the day for that.

Briana: 13:42

No. And I think too, I you touched on it earlier is that it's almost like it's one more task on the list. So where do I even begin? Because now I almost feel like I have this added pressure to embody all of these things and to apply all of the knowledge and to actually live the way that I foresee myself with the information that I have. And so now I have even more pressure on myself, not from anyone else, but just on myself of being like, okay, you need to do more of this and you need to be more like that.

Briana: 14:21

When really, the real embodiment of it is probably the opposite of that. It's just not feeling

Danielle: 14:27

that seems so simple.

Briana: 14:28

It's just being I know it seems so simple and to talk about it, it seems so simple. So I think that for me, this is just my own opinion and perspective for myself and where I'm sitting right now and what I hope to achieve is I think the first step for me is to, like, let go of that. Don't like, let go at least of the pressure of trying to apply it all right away and maybe then it can begin.

Danielle: 14:56

Yeah. I think I think most women and, like, most people in our culture are aware of, like, this hustle mentality, this work hard, fast paced living is starting to die. Like, those scripts are starting to go. But what the problem is is that the new ones of like rest and slowness and nervous system repair, they're so vague that it's like women don't know, me, I'm woman, Don't know how to optimize kids, work, family, life, events, so and so with that. Like you were exactly like you were just saying.

Danielle: 15:33

So it's like, oh, now I have to do this as well. Almost seen as like an extra tax. So it's like it's the art of reducing simultaneous identities, I guess. Yeah. And we talked a lot about identities in our first season of having to be this, this, this, this, this, all the things at once.

Danielle: 15:50

Mhmm. So how do we reduce that? How do we reduce these roles and identifications to kind of come back to the baseline? So that's a very I think that's a really strong, important reflection and question, Brie, is like, how do I do that? And where do I even begin and how do I not see it as like an added task list per se, which is a a great question and something to reflect on.

Danielle: 16:14

So I don't have an answer for that.

Briana: 16:16

Neither do I. So anyone out there, if you have an answer, feel free to, let us know because we're figuring out. But when I was listening to you speak right there, I about adding because it's almost like finding this tricky little balance between adding the things that you feel you want and adding the things to your life that you feel are gonna benefit you while also subtracting other things. And so it's this constant back and forth and constant balance of adding and subtracting so that you don't ever feel overwhelmed. That because we do live in such a world where overstimulated, overstretched, over, you know, extending ourselves constantly.

Briana: 17:06

So adding and subtracting, but knowing where and how to do that and when is a whole other mountain to climb.

Danielle: 17:13

Yeah. That's one of my biggest, I would say I don't know how to describe that word. It was like common out. Like it's something that happens to me common. Like I get an opportunity and I'm like, I'll take it on.

Danielle: 17:26

And then it's just like I added on to everything else I'm doing. So I literally am like minute to minute every day. And this year, as you know, I'm like, I'm getting a snail tattoo. My word is slowness. We are slowing down.

Danielle: 17:37

I feel like I'm ramping speed right back up again because you like get that recharge of regeneration. You're like, vroom, here we go. Let's I can do this. Women can do it all. We literally can, but we in cycles, right?

Danielle: 17:48

We just are so used to doing it full force 100% all the time. So I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm just saying it's just an interesting observation. Like how do we make space for new things while still doing the things that we need to do and love to do? And I definitely think there has to be a sacrifice and there has to be a boundary because you cannot have your cake and eat it all too.

Danielle: 18:09

It's like a very much it's you're overstepping the boundary with yourself too because you can't just ask and ask and ask and output, output, output without refueling back into yourself which is like just as important it is to output and do. It's equally as important to rest like half day, half night, half hot, half cold, man, woman. There's such an equal balance to it. Sometimes it teeters, but in cost of the other or health or whatever it may be that you take from. But there's just always a reaction to the action.

Danielle: 18:41

So I think it's worth noting like or observing and that's a good first step to take is maybe just observing your days in your life and just noticing like, oh, wow, I actually spend a lot more time on my phone than I thought I did. Like in between going to the bathroom or just waiting for the kids, like and adding it up. It could take up to maybe an hour or two a day without even realizing it. So maybe first step would be just like analyzing where the time goes, how that time goes, and how that makes you feel, and what you're even feeling in the first place. Because we're always like like you said, social media, like optimizing, consuming, bettering, spending, creating.

Danielle: 19:18

It's just like, let's just take a chill. But the problem with millennials is we don't know how. We literally don't know how because it feels unsafe. Yep. So that's where the work is is for us to recondition ourselves to understanding just how important and how safe that space could be.

Danielle: 19:35

But it's not going to be given to us by anybody else other than ourselves. But it's so interesting how women work. It's almost like when another woman tells somebody else like, you need to rest. You're laying on the couch for an hour and you're not moving. Yeah.

Danielle: 19:46

It seems like then it's okay to do it. Right. It's like we wait for permission. And it's within millennial women so much is like the underlying good girl narrative. Like, look, I'm working.

Danielle: 19:57

Look, I'm outputting. Look, I'm I'm such a good mom. I don't stop. Like, look, look, look. And it's like we do things as though we're going to get a medal for them or get graded on them or tested.

Danielle: 20:06

Like we never do. Right. But why do we put so much and then it's like when we are trying to calm down and organize our brains, what do we do? We let's organize the pantry. Let's organize the plates.

Danielle: 20:17

Like, anything. Right? It's just like we're busy, busy, busy, busy because we don't know how to rest.

Briana: 20:21

Yeah. So I think that that's a right there, that's a great question to ask yourself first. And this goes for me too. You said reorganize the pantry. That was me yesterday.

Briana: 20:29

Josh and I had our planning day and we were pretty much wrapping it up. He's like, do we have anything else to do? I was like, no. He's like, alright, well, I'm we had an hour and a half to kinda do nothing and he's like, alright, well, I'm gonna go lay down and have a nap. I was like, okay, I'm gonna reorganize the pantry.

Briana: 20:44

I completely took the pantry apart and started to reorganize it. But going back to what I was saying is I think that that's a great place to start. Well, like you said, I think the best place to start is first stepping back and trying to be an observer of your own self and of your own life and your routines and your patterns and your and your day to day. And then ask yourself the question, if slowing down is going to benefit me, what does that look like for me? What does slowing down look like?

Briana: 21:15

There's certain areas of your life with your kids that you can't necessarily take away from or your job or whatever. So find the areas that you are spending time in and saying, okay, can I slow down there and how and what does that look like?

Danielle: 21:28

And sometimes that gets that looks like reaching out to a friend and being like, even if you're okay. For me, I'm very like a type. I love organizing. I love scheduling. I love creating lists, tasks.

Danielle: 21:39

I live very much in that space. And my neighbor, my girlfriend, she was just like she's very, very much like that too. But for some reason, like when it comes to doing that for ourselves, even though we are naturally like those people, it becomes a little bit more difficult. I don't know why. I don't know what it is.

Danielle: 21:56

So she reached out to me and I was shocked because I was like, what? You are exactly like that. So it just took an evening of sitting down talking about all hopes and dreams and it was just like, I was loving it. Like, here you go. Here's your perfect plan of your week, your section, your segregated times.

Danielle: 22:08

And now she's like a part of our kid swap. So it gives us an opportunity to like lean into our sisters, into our friends, into community, into other people Mhmm. Asking for help, which is something another thing that most millennials just will never do because we've been learned and taught we have to do it all by ourselves, which is another myth that we have to break asking for help and just think about how that made me feel. You know, it makes me think I want to ask for help from somebody because it made me feel good to help her. And now I was just dropping off Lola at her house this morning and she was telling me how yesterday one of her childhood friends reached out to her and asked her to help her organize her life and her schedule.

Danielle: 22:42

It's a ripple effect. Exactly. It's the ripple effect. So I don't know why that story came to mind, but

Briana: 22:50

were saying that that's maybe a place that you can start is asking for help. Even if it's like one afternoon on a Saturday. Like, hey, one afternoon a month on Saturday, can so and so watch the kids so that we just have that? Whether it's with your significant other or on your own or whatever that looks like.

Danielle: 23:09

Mhmm.

Briana: 23:10

But, yeah. I mean, I I think that that's different for everybody. I think that's for each person to kinda navigate and and figure out what that is on their own, but I think you nailed it.

Danielle: 23:20

Something that really works for me that was just very difficult because I'm also very type person like I was saying, I've got lots of projects. So I've got every minute of the day doing something. I know it's also a problem. But something that I've started doing probably a few months ago now and I've been quite consistent in it except for a rare exception, is waking up early from the kids because I realistically find like that's when my brain is the sharpest and freshest and it's like I get my own cozy little nook in my bed, my nightstands like an altar. And I spend my time body scanning, meditation changes every day.

Danielle: 23:54

The point is to act myself intuitively, like what do I need in that moment? Because when else in the day do you really do that with yourself, especially when the kids wake up. And when I wake up at the same time as the kids and I go, it's just I am gone. And I definitely am more susceptible to like reactions, emotions, just not my best self. And just feeling behind.

Danielle: 24:14

So it's yeah, I'm tired sometimes. But now I'm actually getting to the point where my body's waking up on its own. Never would I thought it would do that at 6AM. And I'm excited because I know how like the first few times I was a little bit like, okay. Come on.

Danielle: 24:27

Come on. But then like just noticing, and I'm not even kidding you, like the difference that I feel from tapping into myself first, getting into my body first. Soma healing for me is a huge focus this year. And I've like, you know, journaling, meditating, reading have all been like a very good channel and outlet for me. Just something that I'm including this year is more bodywork like the actual feeling and the physical release because emotions are energy that are just in motion.

Danielle: 24:55

They need to move. They need to flow. They need to come out somewhere. That's why if you're somebody who's like a fidgety all the time twirling, like you're you're that's your body saying, have energy that needs to go somewhere. You need to go take a walk.

Danielle: 25:06

You need to go for a run. You need to do something to give your body that outlet it's asking for. So that to me has tremendously shifted my days in my mind is by giving myself those two hours. I can definitely share with you guys. If you're interested, just hit us up on Instagram, send me a DM or whatever.

Briana: 25:22

Two hours.

Danielle: 25:23

Put all

Briana: 25:23

the links until eight?

Danielle: 25:25

Oh, no. Gabe goes and gets Wilder at seven, watches him from seven to eight with Lola, and then we swap. Oh, so nice. What a great idea. Yeah.

Danielle: 25:34

So depending on when Wilder wakes up, sometime like, he he's pretty good now. He'll take himself pee, and then he'll go back to bed until his light turns green at seven. So Gabe will have like an hour to do his breathing and his workout then he'll be with the kids for an hour and then have an extra hour after that. And it works for now. It always shifts and constantly changes and you know sometimes the kids are up all night with being sick so we I'd prefer to have those hours to sleep and then I miss it.

Danielle: 25:56

So if you miss it for a day or two, you know, it's not about being so structured and regimented. It's just about consistently showing up for yourself and training your nervous system and training your inner self that I am worth this time. Yeah. I am here for you. I am not leaving you.

Danielle: 26:15

And you know, you will just it's so subtle. It seems so simple and it's like this can't be it. But it is. And that's the work. The slowness and the simpleness is the sign that it's working.

Danielle: 26:26

And that's the point. Because it's like it's if you're believing that, it's like, oh, I'm not experiencing these miraculous changes. And that's just who I am. My mindset being like, why is my psoriasis not healed? I'm doing all the work.

Danielle: 26:36

Why is it not gone? And like, that right there is the medicine because it's not about the speed of which it happens. It's about that consistent showing up and that consistent regulation. And that's a big theme for women and men and men. Actually, yeah, men.

Danielle: 26:49

I don't talk too much men, but women. This year is nervous system regulation. I think we're all like we said at the beginning, you know, burnt out, fried, dysregulated. How to and but we don't know how to regulate it. So it's kind of like we're learning the art coming home to ourselves again.

Danielle: 27:08

So it's a huge year, 2026. I feel such great energy and shifts coming our way

Briana: 27:13

Me too.

Danielle: 27:14

For sure.

Briana: 27:15

Big time.

Danielle: 27:16

I'm sorry. I feel like I'm like making this a solo podcast

Briana: 27:18

my gosh. No. It's great. Are you kidding? I feel like you have been going through a lot of transition and transformation and all and you're But you are doing the work.

Briana: 27:27

I mean, you just said it. Every morning, you're doing the work with yourself. You're working with a somatic coach right now. Like, you are doing the work, so to talk about it is beneficial for everybody because I think Okay.

Danielle: 27:39

Sorry. Go on. Think that everything you have

Briana: 27:44

to say is valuable, so continue.

Danielle: 27:47

I was going to say I actually have a story for you about my first SOMA session, which was this Friday. And we did it at like seven in the morning my time, which is perfect because like I was working with myself for an hour before. My brain is sharp and fresh. No kids, like ready to go. And immediately we hop online and we're virtual and it's like it's a recorded virtual session.

Danielle: 28:12

So she's going to give me the recording and the notes after. I have a client portal. I can access all the exercises, everything we've talked about. So obviously, like, I have my notepad there because I just I feel like I'm that type of person, like, when I'm writing it, it's, like, integrated more and it's, like, in my body. So she's talking and I'm writing and I'm writing and I'm writing.

Danielle: 28:28

And then we're, like, talking about a conversation. Then I just start doodling. Like, I'm a big doodler, doodle doodle doodle as I'm talking to her, scribbling, and then like kind of looking at her, of looking down, like trying to memorize what I want to say to her because I'm like I want how do you tell somebody in such a short time everything about yourself that's like understand you to work with you? I'm like trying to prepare my mind half in and out of listening. And she's like, are you you note taking?

Danielle: 28:52

And I was like, yeah, yeah, sorry. Like I have to like note

Briana: 28:57

take. I have

Danielle: 28:57

to output this. Right? And she's like, oh my gosh. Like I remember so much. Like that reminds me so much of me.

Danielle: 29:02

Like I used to be exactly like that. Like I had different markers for headers and subtitles and pens and dates and my name. She's like, was just like that. Like I always have my notepad and it was just I loved it. And she's like, actually really missed that part of myself looking at you like it reminds me and I like I miss her.

Danielle: 29:22

And then she was like, just wanna like give you a gentle reminder like this is being recorded. You will have a transcript after. The point is for you to be fully present here with me. So I'm going to ask you not to be taking notes. And then like, I'm like, mm-mm.

Danielle: 29:36

I'm talking to her. And for some reason, like my eyes start tearing up with tears. I'm like, of course, yep, definitely. Totally understandable. And like, I'm starting to get emotional.

Danielle: 29:46

I'm like, why am I getting emotional? And then I look at my phone. I'm like, oh, I'm supposed to get my period in a few days here. That's the reason. But then I'm like, she's starting to talk.

Danielle: 29:53

She's like, Okay, I can see you're starting to get a little bit emotional. Let's start getting into the work. So tears are starting to like stream my face and she's like, gets your eyes to close. She's like, let's just close her eyes and get like get in touch with the body right away. And she's like, what's that emotion that you're feeling like right now?

Danielle: 30:08

Like why do you feel like you're getting a reaction? And I was just like, I don't know why I'm feeling emotional, but I just I felt embarrassed and I felt a little bit ashamed. Ashamed because also at the beginning, she was like she did a huge intake form to like ask me questions about my parents, my life, all these things. Mhmm. And then she was like, can I ask you, did you use ChatGPT for the intake form?

Danielle: 30:30

And I was like, well, like I spoke into it like it was my diary. And then it like summarized it really nice for me. She's like, okay. I'm going to ask you moving forward to like not use AI. Yeah.

Danielle: 30:44

She's it's not wrong. It's fine. She's like, I just do. I really want you to practice for coming from a place of authenticity and whatever. Right?

Danielle: 30:50

So I'm like, mhmm mhmm. And then she went into the note taking thing and then my eyes started to tear up because I was embarrassed.

Briana: 30:55

Right.

Danielle: 30:55

And I was like, oh my god, like I can't hold back my tears right now. I'm like, this is so embarrassing. And they started streaming down. Said, okay, let's just close our eyes and come into her body for a moment. Like, what is it that you're feeling?

Danielle: 31:04

And I'm like, I'm embarrassed that you caught me. Like you that like I just feel ashamed that like I was that I did do it. And I just want you to know who I am. And I'm just taking the notes because I want to and then she's just like, note taking and fidgeting is just like a very much example of like, you need to address this energy that's trying to go somewhere. Like, it's a trauma response.

Danielle: 31:23

Right. And then also, she's like, and the embarrassment, like, she's like, let's explore that. She's like, on a level of one to 10. Like, how much is it? Like, is it strong?

Danielle: 31:30

And I was like, honestly, it's like a four. I'm like, yeah, it's embarrassing, but at the same time, I'm not going to let it kill me or defeat me here. Like I'm Right. Aware it's not who my aunt sucks that that happened. Right.

Danielle: 31:41

Like on our first session. Damn. You know? Mhmm. And I don't want her to see that because I want her to see me as like, you know, as most people do Right.

Danielle: 31:50

The best versions of yourself even though she's going to go into the deep versions of myself. So it was just a moment where she was like, Okay, now can we expand that feeling or do you want to keep it the same? And then she was like, when was the first time you felt this feeling? And then I had to connect it to a childhood experience when I did feel that. So we did a lot of like inner child work, a lot of connection, like me holding and working with that, exploring the stories, asking what she needed in that moment and how we it was just like, I'm not even kidding you, Branagh, my eyes were shut for an hour straight and it was like puddles of water under me because just like tears and tears and tears and tears of things and memories I didn't even think affected me Yeah.

Danielle: 32:24

Or had any impact on me. So it was beautiful. So that's why I said to you when we were chatting earlier, I'm like, I have way more childhood trauma than I thought I did. Yeah. But we're working through it.

Briana: 32:36

I would imagine that a lot of people probably do. But that's pretty that's pretty incredible. And I love that you're doing the work. I love that you're working with a coach and also having the awareness

Danielle: 32:50

with a coach.

Briana: 32:50

And also having the realness and the rawness to not only share it with your coach, but to now share it with all of us. So very proud of you. Always impressed by you.

Danielle: 33:02

Thanks, boo. I'm just trying to push through the fear because I'm like, our stories are our stories. They're already lived. I'm not wrong for my choices and who I am. I just want to share my voice to let other women know that, a, they're not alone.

Danielle: 33:16

They're not wrong. What they're going through, they're it's very can be very similar to what other people are going through. Normal. Very normal. And extend extend myself to to other people, other women in communities and and hold them.

Danielle: 33:32

But, you know, first that's exactly where this work lies is beginning to increase capacity for myself because what I've realized, we were talking a little bit about in our lives in the fall, was my nervous system was just like screaming for me to pay attention, to do something about it. And it was so reflected in Wilder's behavior and my interaction and level of engagement with my own family where it was like a wake up call for me being like, okay, my physical health is not great. My mental health is not great. My emotional health is not great. So I need to make a shift Yeah.

Danielle: 34:07

Somehow, someway because I could not keep not showing up for my kids in the way that I've been dreaming about that's finally here. Mhmm. You know? So it's the hardest work we'll ever do is always staying true to ourselves because we live in a society and a culture and a world to convince us that that's the one we shouldn't be. You know?

Danielle: 34:30

And I It's just so weird.

Briana: 34:31

I think facing the realization that I I don't remember the exact same, but it's something along the lines of like, if nothing change if you don't change anything, then nothing will change. And I think that that's a really hard realization for some people and I know that it has been for me in the past. It's like, if I don't do something to make a real drastic change, then the outcome is never gonna change. I'm just gonna keep repeating the same cycle and keep being faced with the same lessons in this lifetime until I consciously choose to make a change in my behaviors, my habits, my my decisions, whatever it is, that's the only way there's gonna be a different outcome. If I just keep living the same life with all the same choices, I'm gonna continue to get the same result.

Briana: 35:17

So I think that that's also a tough one because, you know, it's it's kind of along those lines of sometimes it's more comfortable to live with the demons you have than to heal them and to live without them because that's what's been comfortable for you for so long. Whether you call it demons, trauma, past memories, personalities, behaviors, whatever it is, if you've had them and you've lived in that space for so long, that's what's comfortable for you. It's scarier to live without them sometimes. But that's that's the growth, that's the breakthrough, that's the hard stuff in order to get through to the other side often.

Danielle: 35:55

Step one is awareness. Yes. Right? Is that it happens. And then kind of how we jumped in, we kind of just jumped straight into like awareness is not enough.

Danielle: 36:03

You need embodiment. Step one is awareness, which is huge. Yeah. So many of us can go through our lives with masks or veils or shields on and not even unfortunately, like, have the capacity to ask ourselves that question or to even open up space for ourselves to work through those things.

Briana: 36:23

Yeah.

Danielle: 36:24

And you're right, it is very much a trauma response. But when you think about how sophisticated and intelligent we were as children to be able to even protect ourselves the way that we needed to Yeah. To get to where we are today. So like what's seen as a behavior now as an adult is like that's not acceptable as an adult in society, you know? Right.

Danielle: 36:48

That's not mature. But maybe it's because that part of ourselves as adults have never been taught that or had space to feel safe which has created a conditioned response or a pattern in our behavior or our psychology. And now and like just it's a lot of adults are just children in costumes, know? It's just like the same behaviors in different costumes as adults. They come through in different ways, but it's trauma responses that our bodies have developed and so intelligently designed to protect us as children.

Danielle: 37:23

And when you look at that back as an adult, it's like one, you have empathy if you if you are able to for a person who is struggling a lot because it's likely the fact that they have a lot of unresolved traumas. They just may not have tools or ability to do so or to work through it. But most people do. Like the hardest part is just being aware of it because most people can just be dicks and assholes and just be like, that's just who I am. Know?

Danielle: 37:47

Go with that. And some people don't like personal and self care work. They just don't ever do it, which is fine. Yep. It's everybody's journey.

Danielle: 37:54

The only person you can control, which will shift your whole outward life anyway, is you. Not control. Sorry. Not control. We are shifting our language in 2026

Briana: 38:06

is holds space for.

Danielle: 38:07

Yeah. Because once you try to control something is

Briana: 38:10

The only decisions you can truly make are for yourself, though. Right. But I I feel like, you know, all in all, it's not it's all

Danielle: 38:21

of

Briana: 38:21

this to say it's not about finding a resolution. I think it's just about having more integration

Danielle: 38:29

Mhmm.

Briana: 38:29

In the direction that you're heading towards. It's not, you know, that old saying goes, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. And I think that that's really applicable here. I think that so many people just want to see the end result and see themselves there and they're like, well, I wanna be there. But I think about just having some slow integration and slow awareness and observation and and moving from there.

Danielle: 38:58

So much pressure on ourselves. Mhmm.

Briana: 39:00

Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't have to have a big perfect bow on it today, you know? It's it's small steps and

Danielle: 39:07

like you It's consistency. Yep. Yep. Regulation. Nervous system regulation is by showing up for yourself every day and small consistent actions where you're retraining the nervous system, you're showing up each day and that compounds over time.

Danielle: 39:23

I think it does.

Briana: 39:25

What do they say takes twenty one days to build a new habit, something like that? I don't know what the exact number is.

Danielle: 39:29

But I've heard seven, fourteen, and 21. Yeah. So seven.

Briana: 39:33

But basically consistency is key. Speaking of which, we will now be more consistent with these episodes because we have our own little setups and easy to hop on. So we hope that we can continue to join each other in this journey of both of us also learning along with everyone else and hope that, you know, you guys can resonate with us a little bit, and we hope to keep these discussions going.

Danielle: 40:06

Yeah. And be sure to like and subscribe if you can. Leave us a comment. We would appreciate to hear what you have to say so much. And if you'd love to chat, head over to Instagram at the honey toast podcast, and you can leave us a DM.

Danielle: 40:18

Message us. We love interacting with you. Let us know what you thought about the episode or any other topics that you would like to explore or even just what you're going through and if you wanna chat. We are here for you. We love you and we appreciate you so much and we hope you have a wonderful day or night.

Briana: 40:34

Bye bye. Or whatever whatever time it is. Wrapping up. Bye bye.